See, I actually used to write my books on a typewriter. That photo was taken when I was on my fifth or sixth published book, and needless to say I was a baby. In some ways I miss my typewriter – I liked the neat little clack of the keys, the pile of papers that would accumulate. I don’t miss typos and corrections and having to type three drafts (which I did in the beginning) or having to consider whether one small change was worth having to retype the whole damned page. And I adore technology. I just really loved my typewriter.
OMG, I realized I’m wearing the same ring that I wore back then! How bizarre. Then again, it’s an amber ring from Denmark that my mother gave me, so maybe that isn’t so odd. Still, we’re talking at least thirty-five years ago. The mind boggles.
Anyway, before I got distracted … I’m having trouble with, for want of a better word, Writer’s Block. Except I do need a better word – for me “block” is when the words aren’t coming. Sort of like being constipated – you strain and strain and nothing. (Not that I know anything about that, of course). I know what I want to write, where the story is going, what my characters are feeling, but something always seems to get in the way of me settling down to write.
But not writing makes me feel restless and uneasy. I was talking with my therapist (oh, yes, I have a therapist – I come from two families with long histories of mental illness, My mother probably had a borderline personality along with her depression, and my father was bipolar and an alcoholic). Anyway, I was talking with my therapist and I came up with the notion that I should have affirmations. Now usually I don’t like affirmations – they feel like lies you tell yourself to make you feel better. But Kim said they need to be the right affirmations, something that feels true. She also suggested visualization but you know, I’m a word person. Picturing myself happily writing doesn’t do it for me.
But somehow affirmations felt right for this situation, so my task was to come up with affirmations on my drive home.
It was a piece of cake. In short order I came up with this, typed it up in a pretty font and printed it on parchment.
You love to write
Stories are your safe place
You like your own stories best
You feel secure and strong when you write
Only you can tell your stories
You love to write
It’s who you are
You’re really really good at what you do
You love to write
You love to tell stories
You love to make up stories
You love heroes and strong women
When do we get to the love part?
You love to write.
Yeah, I realize I’m fatuous when it comes to my own work but you know, if I didn’t love my stories then why would I bother?
This list of affirmations feels really good to me. I considered putting it in “I” format, but I like “you” better. Because I need to remind that recalcitrant, easily distracted female who happens to be me right now.
Your mileage may vary. You might prefer visualization, or despise affirmations, or like grandiose lies like “I will be number one on the NYT list.” That actually works for some people, and I respect that, but it’s not right for me.
If any of your are writers I’d be interested in seeing what kind of affirmations work for you. In fact, affirmations can be helpful in any endeavor. Feel like sharing?